Our days tend to look like this; get up, go to work, come home, go to bed. Rinse and repeat day after day. With little to no time to unwind, there is little opportunity to minimize the stress from the hectic schedule. One day quickly melds with the next and suddenly weeks and months have passed. The intent to address the stress never gets implemented but should be. With a mere 15 minutes each day, and with discipline to be consistent, stress can be significantly minimized. How easy does that sound?

For those of us who are not great at being disciplined, adhering to this program could take some time to get into action.  However, once the habit of setting up the 15 minutes on a daily basis is set, there is often that sense of disappointment at not starting sooner.  Have you ever felt that way?  You finally get around to doing something that you’ve been putting off only to realize how much better off you’d have been if you’d have started sooner.

So what kind of things can be done in only 15 minutes that will make a difference? Before I share that let me tell you a little about Harriet Beecher Stowe. She lived in the middle 1800s and was married to a preacher. Together they had seven children so you know how busy she was.  Harriet was also known as an abolitionist.  Her biggest contribution to the abolition of slavery was the novel she is best known for: Uncle Tom’s Cabin, although she did write 30 books.  It has been said that Harriet wrote this novel writing 15 minutes a night by candlelight after the children were tucked in bed.

So if she could do that nearly 200 years ago, what could you do with your 15 minutes?

Be sure to set a timer to make it an easy thing to do…more only makes it stressful to try to fit into your schedule and then it seems like work rather than enjoyable.

Writing:

In today’s world, this might simply be journaling, depending on your intentions.  Some of you may want to be authors and get published either on or offline, traditional or ebook.  The rest of you might just want to add this type of writing for the express purpose of logging your own journey or to leave some form of memoir for your family.

Whatever your reason, the very act of writing, because of its pensive nature, will allow you to turn down the notch on the stress meter.  The very thoughts which you pen will often evoke an emotional release such as laughter, joy, appreciation and gratitude.  This type of writing rarely if ever evokes the negative therefore your writing will uplift your spirit and release the thoughts that cause stress.

Meditation:

This usually occurs in a favored quiet place with eyes closed and aiming to clear the mind of thinking.  Obviously, this means no activity such as writing or recording audible thoughts.  The notion of repeating sounds such as “ohm” type chants which don’t require thinking is often found to be useful for clearing the mind.

The purpose of meditation is to give permission to the body to relax for a time.  Breathing slowly, deliberately paying attention to your rhythm, and feeling the stress vacate the body is soul refreshing.  It does take practice but the rewards of persevering is so worth it.

Inspirational Quotes:

It’s always a good idea to get in the habit of collecting inspirational quotes that speak to you.  On days when you feel that you are feeling flat and need a boost, this could be your 15 minute activity.  The best practice with these is to have them in categories like change, courage, faith, confidence and others. When you choose to do this then it is meaningful to have a choice of topics to be inspired by.

The collection doesn’t have to be set up like a fancy book.  The value is in the quotes not particularly in the way they are presented.  Taking the time to make it attractive and perfect only adds stress.  What can you do to put this together simply and easily?  Type them up in a word document, print and put in a binder. Done!

High Power Walk:

Even a 15 minute high power walk can minimize your stress levels. Why high power?  You will need to focus on the high energy required to do this. There is no room left in your brain to worry about anything else. You will asking questions like: Where am I going? Can I get to the park and back?  Can I do this every other day?  Am I going to survive it?

There is a lot of thinking going on but the advice here is to think about the benefits to your body. Think about the fresh air and its benefits. As you become more active doing this notice how much better you feel on so many levels. Healthier body and mind.

Listening to Music:

Get up from your usual place. Go find someplace different where you can escape distractions.  Be comfortable as you don headphones and listen to a quieter type of music.  It can be classical but if you are not a fan then find some quiet romantic music that you’d like to dance to.  You might like heavy rock and in its place, that’s wonderful but remember your purpose here is to relax and de-stress.  What music will do that for you?  Create your own play list.

Choose Healthy Snack:

It is easy to get overwhelmed and overstressed when we fail to take the breaks given to us during our work day.  It just seems easier to stay put and work through them.  It is one of those things we should never do. We NEED to take the breaks. The benefits to our minds and bodies far outweigh loosing the time to take them.

In order to get into this habit, set yourself up with something to look forward to.  Select high energy snacks which you thoroughly enjoy.  Savor ever morsel. Make it an experience. Even it they cost a bit more than your normal fare you will find you don’t have the mid-afternoon carb crash.  Your mind will stay clear and it will be easy to get back into the swing of things and refocus once you get back on task.

Cuddle with Your Fur Babies:

Or someone else’s.  Many of the senior residences, long-term care facilities and nursing homes are realizing the health benefits of having pets come for a visit.  The squeals of delight upon their arrival lifts spirits like nothing else. A lifestyle consultant I know at one such facility takes her dog, Lucky, to work with her.  She says that Lucky makes all the rounds as he knows precisely who is waiting for him to visit.

There is much written about the lowering of blood pressure by those who have animals in their lives.  When the focus is on caring for a pet, or paying attention to one for a time, there is an opportunity to escape your worries and enjoy the moment.

Not fond of furry babies, then find a baby you can spend time with.  Nothing like baby giggles or sloppy licks from dogs or the soft purring sounds of cats to minimize stress. Try it you’ll like it.

Any of these will help you to lessen your stress and allow you to avoid being overwhelmed.  Pick one or two to do regularly or mix all of them up as you feel the need.  Avoid making this another job to do.  Look on it as adding relaxation and fun into your ordinary routine.

Keep to 15 minutes to keep it FUN.  Enjoy the benefits you know you will get.  And then go “git” it done!

If you like what you’ve read, why not sign up for The Smarty Pants Way?  

There is something so thoroughly satisfying when all the hard work you’ve done to create and implement a plan comes off without a hitch. However, many is the time when the plan needs to be adjusted at the last minute and how well you can flex and make it work is up to you.  Can you do it?  Can you keep calm and make a change or changes?

This can be crazy-making thinking.  Is this why I have this tendency to do my best work at the last  minute?  For days and weeks depending on the event, I ponder, think, create and envision what I will do.  Even when time starts to run out I am still in creating mode.  Make sense to you?  Yea, doesn’t make sense to me some times when I consider the stress it adds to my life.

I tell myself it brings out the creative side of me.  And then of course, if plans change at the last minute I tell myself I can float the change. After all, not everything is written in stone so I can adjust.

Is it just me or does that sound a bit lame?  I know.  But tell me, how do you make those last minute changes?  Do you grab the opportunity to try something new? Do you tell everyone who will listen to you how unfair that is and how it has taken you forever to set the plan and now someone has taken it upon themselves to ruin it?  On purpose? Just to get at you?

People can learn a lot about you on how you handle those kinds of situations.  Managers are often watching to see how you choose to react when things go awry. If you fall apart, not so good for you.  If you take the challenge and work to make it come together albeit with some unexpected changes, that shouts big kudos to you.  What’s even better is seeing the need to make changes and preempting some potential disaster.  Now that’s a winning move!

What can you do?

•  create some alternatives during the initial planning stages “just in case”
• avoid planning elements that do not allow for any flexibility
• ask yourself lots of “what if” questions and then line up possible alternatives
• get some fresh eyes on it before implementation begins
• breathe and know that no one is out to get you; it just happens

More often than not plans change and just the mention of the word, change, makes people crazy.  You can probably spot them right away.  Their immediate response is to run, hide somewhere and hope it will all just go away.  Nice when that happens; mostly in fairy tales.  However, muster the courage, be strong and face the need to change like it’s your golden key to opportunity.  Jump in.  Get on board.  Pick up the challenge and amazing things will happen.

Just you see.

What this means is that one has to think way out front of today and be prepared for tomorrow.  That is not so easy.  How many times I have wished that I had seen what was coming down the pipe and been much more prepared.  Know what I mean?  I can think of any number of retired friends I have that know exactly what that means.

In fact, it is what we can’t see that we need to prep for.  Several years ago when my hubby and I were retiring from teaching, we opted out of the offerings of joining the insurance plan.  We were both so healthy; my hubby a national swim champion for his age group and I couldn’t tell when I had my last prescription.  After giving it some considerable due diligence we determined that we would pay as we went.

Wrong!  Our prognostication skills failed us.  Hubby was diagnosed with a terminal neurological disorder/disease and has required many assisted devices within our home.  Thankfully, my health is holding up and I am able to be his caregiver.  In fact, I have taken up lifting weight.  No, that’s not supposed to be weights… just weight. His weight.

We chuckle now as we think of all the times I helped him lug things around during our sailing days. He would often have me pick up an end of something heavy. When a fellow sailor would ask if he needed help, Joe would reply, “No thank you. Me got strong woman!”  It annoyed me then but now I am grateful for that most unique weight training.

And that was to get ready to set sail.  Once at sea, there was always so much to do with trimming the sails, healing the boat and of course, preparing meals in the galley.  Lots to do that required strength before the restful smooth sailing.

 But as for being prepared to handle hubby’s illness, I’d have to say that we were not. We did not plan for that contingency.  For the most part we mainly considered the time frame until we were covered with government medical assistance.  But it was so much more than just medicines or medical care. There was much that we didn’t take into consideration in our decision-making process.  We didn’t realize how thirsty we would be and how much we’d need that well.

How are you doing with making plans?  How well do you play the “what if” game?  It is important here to note that we cannot become so consumed with preparing for the worst case scenarios that we handcuff ourselves from enjoying our lives in the moment.  We don’t really know what is coming and if we did it might be way too much for us to take on.  It might paralyze us.

So how do you dig your well? 3 things to keep in mind:

Something is better than nothing.

Put aside just a small amount for your future.  Make it your contingency fund and make it for health care only.  Don’t be tempted to use it for emergency car repairs or a special celebratory trip.  Grow in discipline.  Put aside an amount that won’t negatively impact your life in the moment and commit to it.

Make small changes a little at a time.

As we get older it is so easy to be collectors of all sorts of things.  Memorabilia of family, friends and vacations. Over the years we have often moved up in terms of the size of our homes. We start out with a small apartment and later to a large detached house with more room than needed or used. Why not start the downsizing process and continue a little at a time rather than wait until you have to make one major change.

Declutter now while YOU can decide who gets what.

Did you ever stop to think how much your children might enjoy having some of the memorabilia you have? They’d like Aunt Gussie’s glass candy bowl.  Why make them duke it out for it once you are gone?  Start “gifting” those items stashed away for safe-keeping now so your children can enjoy them now and you can enjoy them enjoying them.  Get that?  Life is too short and too precious. Use the good china now while you can…or let your loved ones use them.  Give your children the pictures of them growing up.  One of my boys wanted his pictures as soon as his little girl was born.  So why not?

I guess what it all boils down to it being prepared. Dig that well.  Be proactive rather than reactive. With pro-action there comes some measure of control ( if control exits … I tend to think it’s an illusion, but that is another blog for another day!)  And yet there is no control with reaction.

Like most things in life, we do have choices to make. And like the old commercial of the old days, “You can do it now or you can do it later.”

What’s your choice?

Like the picture above.  At first glance it looks like a cube and then with a closer look it all goes sideways. Huh, you ask yourself.  At least  you should.  What the heck is this?  It kind of reminds me of the moving staircases in the Harry Potter movie.

There are all kinds of fun images to play with. Some folks are known to play some betting games in their local bars based on what a picture is about…or so I’ve been told.  This one might be a good example of one to have some fun with your friends.

Putting fun aside though, this is how some people might feel about making changes in their lives.  What they see might not be real but only an illusion.  The circumstances or people that are driving the change might look at a problem with one perspective while another sees it quite differently.  No wonder there is such a reluctance to embrace change.

What if you could reserve judgement and think of the change like an illusion and take a good long look from all directions. If someone is suggestion change, maybe there is a good reason which becomes clearly visible when looking from a different angle.  Like the pictures when you change your perspective.

Ever been hugged by a stranger on the street?  I have.  While looking at a display through a store window, a fellow came up quickly behind me and wrapped me in his arms.  No, I didn’t jump around with my arms flailing and hands doing karate chops.  It was a long time ago in a very small town; good times; safe times.

Instead I just turned slowly so I could see who it was and also to show that I probably wasn’t the person he thought I was.   Kind of sad; he was so sweet. But the point is that we had to change our perspectives to see reality.

Change is a hard word for some and yet we live in times of massive change. Everyday there is something that calls us to adjust and be flexible.  How are you doing with that?  Some days good and other days not so much?  Yea, me too!

It is always easier when you are open to ideas and learning to be open minded.  Want some tips on that?  Stay tuned for next week’s blog. Want some help with something specific, add your comments below.  We’ll figure it out together.

You know what I mean. It tends to be the first efforts we make at conversing with our fellow man…or woman.

However, it does seem to be the one topic that we can all agree is safe. No matter who you are, what position in society you hold or your age, you can always offer up a weather related comment. “Nice day, isn’t it?” “Oh, it’s a cold one out there!” “Great to see the sun out at last.”

Any of these comments are sure to elicit a rather agreeable comment in return. Like I said, weather is safe. No chance of someone being nasty or returning a snarling retort. Ever receive a “No. It’s not a nice day”? Didn’t think so.

Weather Provides Variety

For us, the seasons give us all kinds of varied weather to discuss especially in the weeks at the beginning and the end. Right now, I’d bet (if I was a betting person, which I’m not) that there are all kinds of remarks about the passing of winter and the approaching of spring. This we can attribute to Groundhog Day.  Comments like “Thank God it’s over”, “It’s beginning to smell like spring” or my personal favorite “Winter won’t last forever”.

Do you ever wonder what people use for their conversational small talk in other countries? Ones with weather like ours probably have the same kind of meet and greets going on. But what about those countries where the temperature and conditions are for the most part constant? Do they ever say things like, “Boy, sure do feel that one extra degree today, don’t you?” “I hear there’s a wee bit less humidity in the air today”.

Or those countries during the rainy season where rain comes day in and day out. Do you think they ever say, “Oh, looks like rain” or “Wonder if we’ll see the sun today”? Does seeing someone carry and umbrella evoke the same “Think it’ll rain?”

So what topic or topics do you suppose they use for small talk?

Is there any as safe as the weather? If we chose sports what would that look like? “Say, did you hear that the Blue Jays have been winning some games down in spring training.” Imagine the responses. “Who cares? I don’t like baseball. And if I did I wouldn’t like the Blue Jays.” Wow!  What a conversation stopper!

How would it work with the Oscars?

“Wasn’t it great that The Revenant got so many nominations?” From that response you might get any number of responses…especially this year with all the controversy. “I’m not into movies.” “I don’t watch the Oscars so I don’t care who gets nominated or who wins.” “I’ll wait till they all come on Netflix.”  Or maybe just a simple, “Yes”, ending any idea of having a discussion. There is also the possibility of hearing some people-bashing about what was worn last year by whom and who they were with.  Of course, the good, the bad and the ugly about the job the host did.  Doesn’t sound like a safe small talk topic to me!

I think it would be reasonable to rule out politics, religion and sex as substitutes for those simple pleasantries. These would certainly have the potential to raise a few eyebrows and possibly create deep furrows as well. Perhaps a scowl or two or maybe even a snarl.  These topics are also likely to bring about unpredictable responses, quite unlike weather when you know pretty much what to expect. Definitely not suited to filling those few face-to-face moments when a comment eases the awkwardness.

Yes, indeed. Weather does seem to be a good choice for those very few times when you’ve only got a few moments to chat. It seems to work well at smoothing out some awkwardness that silence might otherwise bring. In small towns it is more customary to speak to others while waiting in line or even riding in the elevator. Catching someone’s eye, sharing a smile usually begins the simple conversation. And unless there is a distinct shared experience, weather is the subject of the small talk.

Don’t take  my word for it. Check it out yourself. Just for one day while you are going about your business, listen to how many times you hear some small talk and how much of it is about the weather. Then think of what else it might have been about. If you get some really good tips, put them in the comments and share. Maybe it’s time to change and we can create a small talk movement.

Let’s make an effort to add some variation to our small talk.  Let’s change how we engage others…prepare some opening lines…now don’t be cheesy – but be provocative and just see if you don’t have more meaningful dialogue.