choices – Merri Macartney https://merrimacartney.com Mon, 14 Jan 2019 00:04:21 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.4.16 https://merrimacartney.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/cropped-Merri_Macartney_2018_WEBRESOLUTION_02-32x32.jpg choices – Merri Macartney https://merrimacartney.com 32 32 5 Steps to Decision Making https://merrimacartney.com/5-steps-decision-making/ Fri, 08 Apr 2016 00:44:09 +0000 http://www.merrimacartney.com/?p=879 [Published on Huffington Post] Indecisiveness is a productivity and creativity killer.  It often leads to a syndrome known as analysis paralysis.  Fear of choosing the wrong thing, making the wrong decision is at the root of the problem for many people. And then there’s overthinking.  It too can cause paralysis.

There are some simple steps that can be taken to alleviate the stress of having to make decisions.  The more important the decision, the more important it is to consider getting some input from highly trusted mentors/friends.  Consider the following:

25289505 five blank steps show copy space for 5 letter word

 

5 STEPS …

 

 

1. Stay Calm and Keep Emotions in Check

As difficult as this may seem, it is important not to get too emotional in the decision making process.  When the first impression is one of great excitement over a potential windfall, there is a tendency to have a “blind eye” to taking a balanced look. It can be very difficult to keep any biases in check as the thought processes are engaged to make the best decision.

In some cases the need to make a decision might arouse fear.   What if I make the wrong decision? What if something better comes along after I’ve made the decision? The “what if” game has to be fought off as it is a natural tendency to extrapolate into a worse case scenario.

Sometimes, it is raw excitement that takes over and clouds judgement.  When something is wanted so badly it is possible to avoid thinking about any cons of a decision.  The pros are easy to find and multiply quickly leading to mentally overriding the cons almost immediately.

2. Ensure You Have All Necessary Information

If there is a possibility of regretting a decision made, it usually comes from not having all the information at the time of making the decision.  This is to be avoided at all costs.  How do we do that when we don’t know what we don’t know?

Use the 4 questions of Cartesian Logic.  They are: What would happen if you did?  What would happen if you did not? What wouldn’t happen if you did? What wouldn’t happen if you did not?  In the process of answering these questions you would quickly determine if you had sufficient information.  Then with that information to work from you would begin the search to find out what you do not know.  Discussions with others might prompt questions which you cannot answer and will need to seek out.

3. Seek the Counsel of a Mentor or Coach

One of the best things you can do for your success is to have a mentor or a coach.  Ask any person who is successful at what you wish to be successful at, if they have someone who is their mentor or coach.  Nearly 100% of the time they will tell you they do.

Because they will have walked the path you wish to walk, they will have a very unique perspective.  Their feedback and advice will be invaluable. The are likely to be the first to see any potholes and provide a solution for you to avoid them.  What they tell you may very well be sufficient for you to make a decision without taking any other steps.

4. Consider The Impact On Others

There are two major types of decisions. One is a decision that impacts your life but has little to no impact on your family, friends, or community.  In this case, the weight of your decision pretty much rests on you.  An example would be deciding if you wish to make an internal transfer from one department to another where time and salary remain the same.  It is easy to have those kinds of discussions purely for an outsiders considered opinion if you so choose. There is absolutely no obligation.

However,  on the other hand there are are decisions that would require much discussion primarily with family and some who are close enough to be considered like family.  In the latter cases, it is important to present all the information you have as to what impact you decision would have on them.  Getting their feedback may be the most important part of your decision making depending on the degree of impact.

This is not to be taken lightly.  In order to avoid regrets down the line for any undesirable or devastating outcomes all stakeholders need to be included.  It is possible that many one on one discussions will reveal more feedback and at other times, a group discussion is best.  Oddly enough, that in itself might be the first decision to be made.

5. Be Committed to the Decision

Some marriages have failed simply because one or both partners are not 100% committed. Perhaps that is because of the fear that it isn’t going to work out and they don’t want to be hurt.  Not giving 100% may be the very reason why it fails.

Decisions need to be made and once given the commitment must be made. If you cannot do that, then you are not ready to make the decision.  Keep in mind though, the old adage that says, making a wrong decision is worse than making no decision.  This is true.  The next best statement is, once a decision is made, be totally committed to it.  Give it all you’ve got until you find yourself faced with a new decision.

blog image decision making

That’s it.  Follow these 5 steps and take the indecisiveness out of your mental habits.  Find what works for you; then rinse and repeat.  The habit of indecisiveness will soon be a thing of that past.

Finding a coach who is a good fit for you is what makes for long term improvement.  As a Certified Coach, I would like to offer you a free half hour consultation.  Simply go to the contact page and fill out the form: I will reach out within 24 hours to set up a time to connect.

www.merrimacartney.com/contact

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

]]>
So Many to Choose From https://merrimacartney.com/so-many-to-choose-from/ Thu, 17 Mar 2016 00:17:29 +0000 http://www.merrimacartney.com/?p=765 Okay…when did life get so complicated with so many choices about nearly everything?  Just look at the assortment of colors available in the image above. How is a person supposed to choose? Have you come up with a system to help you make a choice when faced with what seems like an insurmountable selection process?  If so then I NEED to hear from you.

I discovered I was indecisive quite by accident.

 It was during a personality type assessment done in class when I was in Teacher’s College.  Yes, I kind of knew that I struggled with making decisions but I didn’t realize how much it invaded my life. I had failed to see how often I had just shelved some decision-making until a time when I thought it would be easier. Know what? It never got easier.

In fact, what happened is that things just piled up due to my lack of making a decision and moving on. Now you might think that would have held me back and not let me be successful in life. Not so…well not exactly. I was really good at making decisions when faced with a deadline…and more so with a deadline with dire consequences. Can you say stressful?

The problem was that in my personal life, I didn’t have the same kind of deadlines and if I tried to impose them on myself, I was far too forgiving.  Extensions could be had with a simple plea for mercy.  So what’s a person like me to do?

3 Steps to Eliminate Indecisiveness…

Identify the fear:

When faced with indecision it is usually because we fear something.  For me, I was afraid that I would make a choice I’d regret, that I wouldn’t like my choice and wish I hadn’t made it. I then learned that if I didn’t make a decision, I wouldn’t be faced with the possibility of regret.  For instance, I would put off having a chocolate bar until I couldn’t stand it any longer. When I did give in, I wanted it to be absolutely mouth-watering.  If I choose wrongly, I would regret my decision and not experience the thrill I wanted.

This is a very simple example but similar in other situations. Choosing a car, a restaurant, or even maybe a spouse.  All of which I’ve done; more than once.  And that would take a whole new blog to deal with that subject.

Once the fear is identified, then choosing should be easier.  It won’t always be right but at least it will be a decision.

wrong decision

 Don’t overthink it:

It is easy to get caught in a trap of overthinking which can lead to indecisiveness. It’s hard to make up our minds when we keep thinking new reasons to do or not to do.  Usually the best approach would be to consider your “gut” instincts.  Many people believe that their “gut” saves them from making wrong decisions.  What’s your take on this?

For the most part I get into trouble when my “gut” tells me something and I completely ignore it.  Known as that wee small inner voice, it has often brought to mind something I should pay attention to and yet I don’t. Know what I mean?

It takes discipline and practice to listen to that inner voice. I am sure you will find, like I have, that once I hear and heed what it says, decision-making seems so much easier.  At least I experience less regret.

26752672 Stop Overthinking Indicates Too Much And Caution

Let it go:

When a decision goes wrong, as it sometimes will, it is so important to let it go and get past it. Mistakes happen all the time. The best thing to do is to learn from it but not make you afraid to make a mistake next time.  This can lead to indecisiveness too.  Back to fear of course, but this is about letting it go.

Just think of all the people who marry a second or third time even though the first marriage ended in divorce.  They might question their decision, then their ability to make decisions.  This is how I felt and so I got some expert advice to help me with the next decision. I was able to leave my bad experiences in the past and it allowed me to move forward.  And you can too!

25305952 mistakes behind you green road sign

]]>