That makes you a member of a very large club. Many of us can get overwhelmed by the enormity of a task. It is hard to see where to start. We might look at it and see a huge ball of string with no tail sticking out to aid in the unraveling. Do what’s a person to do?

We know that answer to the question: How do you eat an elephant?  Answer: One bit at a time.

We hear this and we all laugh but don’t implement it as oten as perhaps we could. My clients often tell me that they tend to just jump in and struggle trying to find that elusive starting point. And they say that the closer the deadline, the more anxious they become to get started. No time to do the heads up prep work.

The stress level usually builds as the timer ticks on. Sometimes the anxiety turns to panic and with that comes difficulty focuing, staying on task and even sleeping or eating. Instead of stress de-escalating as the work comes together, it elevates as the deadline looms.

These 3 steps can make the difference in how stressed you are when the task is completed.

Take a Bird’s Eye View of the Task

What do you see? What is the overall objective and result when finished? Stephen Covey says to start with the end in mind. Knowing why you are doing this work can cause your appoach to be more creative and align with your work style. This planning can take as much as a day but will save you time in the long run. Don’t rush to get started. Stay calm to plan it all out.

Chunk the Task into Manageable Bites

Yes, the elephant adage is not just a fun thing; it is a critical tool to use in addressing the bigger tasks. We usually know way more than we actually implement. This is one of those often forgotten lessons that fail to make it to the production site.

How can you piece this into smaller bites to accomplish one at a time? With that comes the sense of accomplishment of actually getting somewhere. This goes a long way to balancing the amount of stress involved. Instead of it building, it will stay level or in best case scenario, decrease.

Break Down the Deadlines to Match Bites

Once the overall task is divided, then divide the deadline date into the appropriate timelines to match the bites. You allot a certain amoount of time to accomplish each and work to meet that deadline. For the time being, forget about the final deadline. If you meet each of these, you can’t help but meet the final one.  Don’t forget to add the final review time when the task is completed. You’ll want time to go over your work rather than just rush to push it out without another glance.

I guess a final word could be added here…okay, maybe two!  Don’t forget to breathe. Don’t forget to balance your work with leisurely time with family and friends, or maybe even some self-care alone time. Defeat the stress before it defeats you.

Coypright 2019 Merri Macartney. Merri works with organizations that want to merge laughter and learning to boost morale, reduce stress and enhance the wellbeing of their staff.

Email: Merri@merrimacartney.com

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There are some simple steps that can be taken to alleviate the stress of having to make decisions.  The more important the decision, the more important it is to consider getting some input from highly trusted mentors/friends.  Consider the following:

5 STEPS …

1. Stay Calm and Keep Emotions in Check

As difficult as this may seem, it is important not to get too emotional in the decision making process.  When the first impression is one of great excitement over a potential windfall, there is a tendency to have a “blind eye” to taking a balanced look. It can be very difficult to keep any biases in check as the thought processes are engaged to make the best decision.

In some cases the need to make a decision might arouse fear.   What if I make the wrong decision? What if something better comes along after I’ve made the decision? The “what if” game has to be fought off as it is a natural tendency to extrapolate into a worse case scenario.

Sometimes, it is raw excitement that takes over and clouds judgement.  When something is wanted so badly it is possible to avoid thinking about any cons of a decision.  The pros are easy to find and multiply quickly leading to mentally overriding the cons almost immediately.

2. Ensure You Have All Necessary Information

If there is a possibility of regretting a decision made, it usually comes from not having all the information at the time of making the decision.  This is to be avoided at all costs.  How do we do that when we don’t know what we don’t know?

Use the 4 questions of Cartesian Logic.  They are: What would happen if you did?  What would happen if you did not? What wouldn’t happen if you did? What wouldn’t happen if you did not?  In the process of answering these questions you would quickly determine if you had sufficient information.  Then with that information to work from you would begin the search to find out what you do not know.  Discussions with others might prompt questions which you cannot answer and will need to seek out.

3. Seek the Counsel of a Mentor or Coach

One of the best things you can do for your success is to have a mentor or a coach.  Ask any person who is successful at what you wish to be successful at, if they have someone who is their mentor or coach.  Nearly 100% of the time they will tell you they do.

Because they will have walked the path you wish to walk, they will have a very unique perspective.  Their feedback and advice will be invaluable. The are likely to be the first to see any potholes and provide a solution for you to avoid them.  What they tell you may very well be sufficient for you to make a decision without taking any other steps.

4. Consider The Impact On Others

There are two major types of decisions. One is a decision that impacts your life but has little to no impact on your family, friends, or community.  In this case, the weight of your decision pretty much rests on you.  An example would be deciding if you wish to make an internal transfer from one department to another where time and salary remain the same.  It is easy to have those kinds of discussions purely for an outsiders considered opinion if you so choose. There is absolutely no obligation.

However,  on the other hand there are are decisions that would require much discussion primarily with family and some who are close enough to be considered like family.  In the latter cases, it is important to present all the information you have as to what impact you decision would have on them.  Getting their feedback may be the most important part of your decision making depending on the degree of impact.

This is not to be taken lightly.  In order to avoid regrets down the line for any undesirable or devastating outcomes all stakeholders need to be included.  It is possible that many one on one discussions will reveal more feedback and at other times, a group discussion is best.  Oddly enough, that in itself might be the first decision to be made.

5. Be Committed to the Decision

Some marriages have failed simply because one or both partners are not 100% committed. Perhaps that is because of the fear that it isn’t going to work out and they don’t want to be hurt.  Not giving 100% may be the very reason why it fails.

Decisions need to be made and once given the commitment must be made. If you cannot do that, then you are not ready to make the decision.  Keep in mind though, the old adage that says, making a wrong decision is worse than making no decision.  This is true.  The next best statement is, once a decision is made, be totally committed to it.  Give it all you’ve got until you find yourself faced with a new decision.

That’s it.  Follow these 5 steps and take the indecisiveness out of your mental habits.  Find what works for you; then rinse and repeat.  The habit of indecisiveness will soon be a thing of that past.

Finding a coach who is a good fit for you is what makes for long term improvement.  As a Certified Coach, I would like to offer you a free half hour consultation.  Simply go to the contact page and fill out the form: I will reach out within 24 hours to set up a time to connect.

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I discovered I was indecisive quite by accident.

 It was during a personality type assessment done in class when I was in Teacher’s College.  Yes, I kind of knew that I struggled with making decisions but I didn’t realize how much it invaded my life. I had failed to see how often I had just shelved some decision-making until a time when I thought it would be easier. Know what? It never got easier.

In fact, what happened is that things just piled up due to my lack of making a decision and moving on. Now you might think that would have held me back and not let me be successful in life. Not so…well not exactly. I was really good at making decisions when faced with a deadline…and more so with a deadline with dire consequences. Can you say stressful?

The problem was that in my personal life, I didn’t have the same kind of deadlines and if I tried to impose them on myself, I was far too forgiving.  Extensions could be had with a simple plea for mercy.  So what’s a person like me to do?

3 Steps to Eliminate Indecisiveness…

Identify the fear:

When faced with indecision it is usually because we fear something.  For me, I was afraid that I would make a choice I’d regret, that I wouldn’t like my choice and wish I hadn’t made it. I then learned that if I didn’t make a decision, I wouldn’t be faced with the possibility of regret.  For instance, I would put off having a chocolate bar until I couldn’t stand it any longer. When I did give in, I wanted it to be absolutely mouth-watering.  If I choose wrongly, I would regret my decision and not experience the thrill I wanted.

This is a very simple example but similar in other situations. Choosing a car, a restaurant, or even maybe a spouse.  All of which I’ve done; more than once.  And that would take a whole new blog to deal with that subject.

Once the fear is identified, then choosing should be easier.  It won’t always be right but at least it will be a decision.

 Don’t overthink it:

It is easy to get caught in a trap of overthinking which can lead to indecisiveness. It’s hard to make up our minds when we keep thinking new reasons to do or not to do.  Usually the best approach would be to consider your “gut” instincts.  Many people believe that their “gut” saves them from making wrong decisions.  What’s your take on this?

For the most part I get into trouble when my “gut” tells me something and I completely ignore it.  Known as that wee small inner voice, it has often brought to mind something I should pay attention to and yet I don’t. Know what I mean?

It takes discipline and practice to listen to that inner voice. I am sure you will find, like I have, that once I hear and heed what it says, decision-making seems so much easier.  At least I experience less regret.

Let it go:

When a decision goes wrong, as it sometimes will, it is so important to let it go and get past it. Mistakes happen all the time. The best thing to do is to learn from it but not make you afraid to make a mistake next time.  This can lead to indecisiveness too.  Back to fear of course, but this is about letting it go.

Just think of all the people who marry a second or third time even though the first marriage ended in divorce.  They might question their decision, then their ability to make decisions.  This is how I felt and so I got some expert advice to help me with the next decision. I was able to leave my bad experiences in the past and it allowed me to move forward.  And you can too!

Both my hubby and I had spent five weeks teaching summer school and our reward was to rent a cottage for a week on the shores of Lake Huron followed by this road trip.  We were exhausted when we arrived at the cottage and the location was spectacular with its world famous sunsets.  For all that week it was easy to think about making a cottage part of our summer experience.

Then we hit the road and traveled across the norther shore of Georgian Bay and Lake Superior. Atop every hill was a breathtaking scene and it became apparent that with a cottage one would miss all this and be land locked to one place.  A motor home became the obvious choice until we hit the marina at Thunder Bay.

It was there that the decision to buy a sailboat was formed.  However, neither my husband nor I knew how to sail, had never sailed nor been passengers aboard someone else’s boat.  But we remained unrelenting in our decision. We were teachers and we could learn. And learn we did.

Did you know that for most things there is a specific language.  We needed to learn it; the vocabulary, the phrases and the expressions.  Ever try to buy something that you have no idea about?  How on earth do you ensure that you will be a) taken seriously and b) not taken advantage of?  We learned that we needed to have a survey taken of the boat which is the same in principle as a home inspection when buying a home.  That would help take care of b).

Today more than ever before people aren’t so much relying on sales people to tell or teach them the particulars of an item they are interested in purchasing.  With the internet, they do most of that due diligence and research on their own so they are informed when entering a purchasing stage.  The decision-making is mostly done before they even speak to a sales person.

We did a lot of searching on the internet and my hubby did a lot of reading over the following winter.  When summer came around it was time to start looking. Marinas are full of boats with ‘For Sale’ signs on them so we visited many.  On a very hot summer’s day we found ourselves standing on a dock watching a couple rig (add all the attachments) their boat.  I guess we were drooling because when they’d finished they asked us out on their maiden voyage of the season.  There was no doubt about it; we wanted a sailboat.

That summer we met many sailors, talked to buyers and sellers alike and learned the lingo. Our communication skills improved with every encounter.  By the time we found THE boat for us, we could ask intelligent questions and understand the answers.  We were of like minded when it came time to purchase.

We did sound like we knew what we were talking about at least during the sales process. However, when it was just hubby and me out there putting our theory to the test, it was quite a bit different.

If you’d been aboard you’d have heard him say this to me…”Grab that thing….No….not that thing, the other thing!”

So how do you decide?  By using all the tools you have in your toolbox. And if your toolbox is empty or nearly so, then start by getting your tools.  Ones like these are a MUST:

1. 1. Everyone needs a mentor/coach.  When it comes to making decisions, sometimes we just can’t step far enough away from the situation to see things clearly.  Ever had someone point out something so obvious that you just had to smack your forehead as you say, “Duh”?
   2. Read. Read. Read.  Mentors are everywhere and you can find them online, in your local library and bookstores.  The secret of success isn’t really a secret as many people have written tell-all books.  Find biographies of those who are doing or have done what  you want to do.Ask someone to recommend some great reading for you. Ask me. I have a personal list of my favourites that you can have just for asking.  I have read every book that is on my list.  People refer books to me and they only go on the list once I agree it is worthy.  Don’t waste time reading outdated or inferior books…at least not for business. Escaping with something totally mind-numbing is okay on occasion but not for building life skills.
   3. Most people have great inner intuition but fail to recognize it or tap into it. Why?  Because they are so busy “doing” that they forget to take the time to stop and listen to that inner voice.  The answers are quite often within us but we need to step out of the hub-bub of our daily lives in order to hear it.  Mediation is one such practice that allows for that.  Often just a simple walk surrounded by the quietness of nature does it.  When was the last time you spent any time in quiet solitude?  For most it has been a long time.

Often we tend to give ourselves too many things to change at one time.  Like New Year’s Resolutions, and we know how those work or not… The above tips are but just 3. Enough to give you a start but not so much as to overwhelm you.  Can you give maybe even just one a try next time you are faced with a pretty serious decision.

This might not get you off the tightrope but at least you’ll get a sense of a safety net being there to help support whatever you decide.  And that’s what it is all about.  Let’s get support from others to help us move forward.

Remember, if you want a reading list, just add a comment below and it’ll be on the wire right out to you.