02 Feb Wondering Whether Weather Works

Do you ever wonder how weather got to be the forerunner of small talk?

You know what I mean. It tends to be the first efforts we make at conversing with our fellow man…or woman.

However, it does seem to be the one topic that we can all agree is safe. No matter who you are, what position in society you hold or your age, you can always offer up a weather related comment. “Nice day, isn’t it?” “Oh, it’s a cold one out there!” “Great to see the sun out at last.”

Any of these comments are sure to elicit a rather agreeable comment in return. Like I said, weather is safe. No chance of someone being nasty or returning a snarling retort. Ever receive a “No. It’s not a nice day”? Didn’t think so.

Weather Provides Variety

For us, the seasons give us all kinds of varied weather to discuss especially in the weeks at the beginning and the end. Right now, I’d bet (if I was a betting person, which I’m not) that there are all kinds of remarks about the passing of winter and the approaching of spring. This we can attribute to Groundhog Day.  Comments like “Thank God it’s over”, “It’s beginning to smell like spring” or my personal favorite “Winter won’t last forever”.

Do you ever wonder what people use for their conversational small talk in other countries? Ones with weather like ours probably have the same kind of meet and greets going on. But what about those countries where the temperature and conditions are for the most part constant? Do they ever say things like, “Boy, sure do feel that one extra degree today, don’t you?” “I hear there’s a wee bit less humidity in the air today”.

Or those countries during the rainy season where rain comes day in and day out. Do you think they ever say, “Oh, looks like rain” or “Wonder if we’ll see the sun today”? Does seeing someone carry and umbrella evoke the same “Think it’ll rain?”

So what topic or topics do you suppose they use for small talk?

Is there any as safe as the weather? If we chose sports what would that look like? “Say, did you hear that the Blue Jays have been winning some games down in spring training.” Imagine the responses. “Who cares? I don’t like baseball. And if I did I wouldn’t like the Blue Jays.” Wow!  What a conversation stopper!

How would it work with the Oscars?

“Wasn’t it great that The Revenant got so many nominations?” From that response you might get any number of responses…especially this year with all the controversy. “I’m not into movies.” “I don’t watch the Oscars so I don’t care who gets nominated or who wins.” “I’ll wait till they all come on Netflix.”  Or maybe just a simple, “Yes”, ending any idea of having a discussion. There is also the possibility of hearing some people-bashing about what was worn last year by whom and who they were with.  Of course, the good, the bad and the ugly about the job the host did.  Doesn’t sound like a safe small talk topic to me!

I think it would be reasonable to rule out politics, religion and sex as substitutes for those simple pleasantries. These would certainly have the potential to raise a few eyebrows and possibly create deep furrows as well. Perhaps a scowl or two or maybe even a snarl.  These topics are also likely to bring about unpredictable responses, quite unlike weather when you know pretty much what to expect. Definitely not suited to filling those few face-to-face moments when a comment eases the awkwardness.

Yes, indeed. Weather does seem to be a good choice for those very few times when you’ve only got a few moments to chat. It seems to work well at smoothing out some awkwardness that silence might otherwise bring. In small towns it is more customary to speak to others while waiting in line or even riding in the elevator. Catching someone’s eye, sharing a smile usually begins the simple conversation. And unless there is a distinct shared experience, weather is the subject of the small talk.

Don’t take  my word for it. Check it out yourself. Just for one day while you are going about your business, listen to how many times you hear some small talk and how much of it is about the weather. Then think of what else it might have been about. If you get some really good tips, put them in the comments and share. Maybe it’s time to change and we can create a small talk movement.

Let’s make an effort to add some variation to our small talk.  Let’s change how we engage others…prepare some opening lines…now don’t be cheesy – but be provocative and just see if you don’t have more meaningful dialogue.